Germany x Reader CrAcK

:WARNING: This is a CrAcK fic. Which means there will be cursing. No like no read. This is a ReaderxGermany

Okay so you are a fucking bad ass who does whatever the fuck she wants right? You just go through everything without even trying you’re such a fucking bad ass you don’t even go to school but you got a fucking doctorate in _skill_ at _college/university_. You are friends with the most awesome fucking people in the world. Their names are America (FUCK YEAH!), Denmark, and ZE GREAT AND MIGHTY FUCKING PRUSSIA OF AWESOMENESS!!!!! Anyway today you four are going to a carnival. That’s right a fucking carnival bitches.

You walk in and everyone immediately bows down to your GREAT ASS!!!!!! Suddenly someone comes up to you it is…FRANCE. You love this guy to death because you and him are like BFFFS!!!! BEST FUCKING FRIENDS FOREVER!!!!! He walks up to you and tosses his sexy hair over his shoulder “What’s up guuuuuuurl~” You take off your sunglasses “My awesomeness.” You say before brofisting him.

SO you five begin riding rides and then it happens you see the man of your fucking dreams…making out with that fucking potty mouthed Italian known as Romano. Now Prussia was NOT happy to see Romano kissing Germany. BECAUSE ROMANO IS HIS BITCH!!!!! You walk up to Romano and pimp slap him it was so epic he turned into a tomato and exploded Germany looks at you in awe and you proceed to make out.

Prussia cries over the loss of Romano but is abducted by aliens in the process. Shit begins to hit the fan as an earth quake happens Germany clings to you for life and then you’re like fuck all kinds of duck then the earth opens and a giant Shinatty Chan rises from the depths of the earth the exploded Romano pieces itself together and turns back into Romano and he screams “_______ PROTECT ME YOU SEXY BITCH!!!!!” as he grips onto you. You smirk as your greatest fighting power comes in. You punch Shinatty Chan out of existence then you jump on a unicorn with Germany as Romano gets abducted by aliens. The unicorn then begins farting rainbows as it flies into the sky the carnival blows up behind you with all its badassery .

Germany and you return to his home and you get married. You two end up having OVER 9000 BABIES!!!!! Romano and Prussia live together on planet FUCKING AWESOME. France and America become a super awesome crime fighting team. ENGLAND IS FOREVER ALONE WITHOUT HIS UNICORN. DENMARK BECAME PRESIDENT OF BEER LAND MAKING HIM THE KING OF THE FUCKING WORLD WITH ALL THE NORDICS AS HIS BITCHES!!!!!

FIN